Not having the time of your life at college? You're not alone.
Robert Medhurst passed the majority of his orientation week browsing through social media, viewing updates about other students' fun nights out.
"I was just in bed," Robert remembers, describing the week as the loneliest time of his life.
Robert's flatmates seldom socialized, and his course didn't feel particularly social.
Although he tried by participating in sample activities for various societies, he was unable to locate his people.
"I began losing my confidence," he says. "It seemed that people didn't want to form friendships with me, or they weren't fond of me."
Digital Platform Contrasts
At first, Robert didn't plan of attending college and had a job offer for post-secondary education.
Yet he observed his peers enjoying themselves as students on Instagram.
"When you've got to get up for your job during the week at the morning hour and you observe peers partied on the previous evening, you start feeling others have it better," Robert explains.
Higher Education Assumptions
Television programs and digital networks can glorify the idea of student life.
Numerous students begin university with high expectations for what they believe could be the greatest period of their lives.
Various learners begin their studies with "rose-tinted glasses," explains a support services coordinator.
Study Outcomes
- Through surveys of first-year attendees early on, the primary worry was fitting in and feeling included
- Additional research through polling organizations, nearly one-fifth of attendees said they had no friends at university
- 37% said they worried daily or weekly about making friends
Individual Stories
Alisha Miah's TikTok feed was populated with clips of students enjoying themselves while sharing accommodation in university housing.
Yet when Alisha moved from her hometown to university to pursue media studies, she found initial days "daunting" because of how much alcohol it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had not experienced nightlife before.
"I actually passed much of orientation in my room," she says. "I just felt slightly disconnected."
Mental Health Considerations
In a 2025 survey of over ten thousand undergraduate students, 29% said they had considered withdrawing from studies.
The primary factor was emotional state, succeeded by economic considerations.
"Worry regarding these various aspects is massively common, and expected," adds a counselling expert.
Finding Solutions
Over periods, the students eventually adapted and formed relationships.
She built connections through her course and through TikTok, while Christina felt happier once she was able to share accommodation with peers.
Useful Suggestions
In his case, currently in his mid-twenties and in his last year, it was participating in theater activities and getting a part-time job that assisted in relationship building.
Robert's advice to new attendees finding social interaction difficult is to simply leave your accommodation and participate in group trial sessions.
"Subsequent to periods of regular attendance, individuals become familiar with you," Robert says, "you notice their presence, and relationships start developing."
